Mommy, where do dentists come from?

Yesterday, while having my poor innocent jaw drilled on for the third root canal I have endured in my life, I figured out where dentists come from. (Note: my teeth, for those of you who don't know, are like marshmallows... this year, I'm under my average, and have only 3.5 cavaties per year!)

As the titanium rod was lovingly inserted into my now empty root canal, and I looked up at my dentist, it occured to me: You know all those kids who were picked on, bullied, and teased? They are now someones dentist. I don't mean the kids who took it every now and then, I'm talking the Steve Urkel's of your grad class.

They have become sadistic and partially cruel by drilling on peoples teeth with little rotary saws. They perform root canals, they pull teeth, and they drill out decay to fill with metal and other materials. They are someones dentist.

My dentist is a really nice Vietnamese guy, who I generally like. Somehow, by the end of the appointment, I always want to hurt him back. He doesn't do it to me on purpose, I know that. but why must you hurt me so?

I think this all stems from my childhood dentist, Dr. Fell. This m-effer was evil in the worst way. He wasn't gentle with the needle, he wasn't gentle with the drill, and he wasn't good with children. My soft teeth were destroyed by his cruel, fumbling hands. He was definately bullied. And whats with the name? It even sounds like a dentists name. As you can see, it is easy to pick on the dentist, because the dentist was the picked on one. Now he is picking your pocket with his fees, and causing you pain and discomfort for the years of pain they suffered... they are now sadists.

It's my birthday tomorrow. This makes me unhappy. I will be old. One quarter of a century. I remember when turning a decade was big, two decades? that was scary... but one quarter century and five years to thirty? I think I will go into hiding for a little while. I mean, I know its not old, but it sure feels that way now. Time flies when your having fun (or exponentially in proportion to age, it seems).

I hope all is well in your world.