Is It Over Yet?

I have the convocation ceremony for my diploma tomorrow, and I think to myself...

I'm not really there.

It's kind of a tease really... and then you go looking at the jobs that you can potentially hold when you get out of school. There are many promises of money and other good things (like benefits, experience, etc), and yet no promises of happiness. Can anyone ever be promised happiness? We were discussing this in anthropology today.. about how all our social institutions revolve around school - where we work our butts off, only to get out of school and work our butts off more. It is no wonder why male senior citizens find themselves lost and confused upon retirement - all they did for the majority of their lives was have a purpose primarily delivered to them by their place of employment.

Which leads me to my next question - do I really want to do that? Or is my ultimate goal to make my money and retire early? Is that even a realistic possibility? Don't all college/university graduates assume the same thing only to spend the next thirty odd years working for "the man"?

OH hell. It's too depressing. What we need to do is have a goal, try to get there, and try not to be disappointed if we get sidetracked along the way. Say, by kids, or marriage, or dogs.. or whatever it is that causes bumps in the road. Maybe those bumps in the road that we experience are the whole purpose in life. Forget that pay check, it doesn't make you who you are.

Then again, I'm just a 24 year old naive college student who is aspiring to work in a business environment - which is not one that lets you stop and dance with the bumps - they just want you to iron them out, and move along to the next.

I still love it... don't get me wrong. But I have to wonder where I'm going, and why?

Perhaps I should write my definition of success. Maybe if I have that written out, I'll know when I get there. I see a list with plenty of sub-categories in my future.