Miss Fixit

There is a prayer called the Serentity Prayer. It is actually quite long, but the main part of it, goes like this:

God grant me the serentity to except the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

When I was young (and when my aunts and uncles were younger) something terrible went on in my family, rendering us divided in the end. I remember how it was before the rift, and I know how it was after. For years, I was so angry that this had happened, and I couldn't understand why adults always preached forgiveness but when it came to them all the rules of life were "subjective". Last night, as I lay in bed, I got to thinking. Why can't I change it? Some members of my family have tried by including the entire family in their weddings... I was going to do the same thing. But nothing really comes of this. It's like they don't see what they are doing - to their kids, and the to the future of our clan. I have 25 cousins. I am not entitled to see 9 of them unless by some chance I am home when they sneak into my basement to see my Nunna. It should not be this way.

I realize the only time I will have the power to change the outcome of this story is when all the aunts and uncles are too old to get involved (or rather, the cousins are old enough to make their own decisions). Then we will fix all the wounds that have been so carefully passed down to us in a new shape and new style. It's like they don't see that. They don't see that their lack of forgiveness denies their children of all that is good in this family. Of all the trips to the cabin in the summer with the house just packed. Of all the wonderful Christmas dinner when you HAD to have a kids table because there is NOT a table on this planet big enough for our family. Of being there for eachother, knowing eachother, and loving eachother.

It's sad that I am not the only person who has this in their family. That there are thousands upon (likely) millions of kids who go through the same thing. In different degrees granted, but nevertheless, my generation and the generation below me are a generation of broken families. If we ever intend on making the world better, we have to create the family again.