Shooting Yourself in the Foot Hurts.... Doesn't It?

When I was a teenager I made some mistakes that were real doozies. Some people continue to make these mistakes through out there lives, as if learning is impossible. I watch around me as people make the same mistakes over and over again and wonder if they will ever get past the mistake and see the pain that they have caused themselves, and others.

As an adult, I realize that the action of shooting myself in the foot hurt. And at the time, some of the consequences that were delivered brought forth a lightbulb that bore light on the idea that maybe what I was doing wasn't all that good for me - or the people around me. But as I live and breathe, today the majority of my stress is coming from watching someone I love shoot themselves in the foot repeatedly, and keep on walking... as if no pain was caused to themselves or those around them.

I will not divulge the actual identity of this person, for I would not want them to be humiliated by my sharing. But this person had the most amazing free ride. Live your life for 4 years as someone else wants, and you get a free post-secondary educaction. Not only that, but you already receive a top-notch high school education learning such cool things as karate, cirque de soleil, and circus (high wire, etc) on top of your academic studies - in a state of the art facility. You can even live at the school - and all of this, to you, is free. But again, you must relinquish all control of your life until you graduate. It is not easy, but the pro's greatly outweigh the cons.

Now this person who got this "free ride," if you will, managed to throw it all away. And rather than turn to their family during their time of need and support, they stayed away, not phoning anyone for months at a time. Their first progress report to us, was to inform us that they had been asked to leave. This person also greatly needed this discipline. As they had continually broken ties and bridges with most of their family through lies and deceit.

So, in the end, this person is now missing. We don't know where they are. As we sit and wait for some word, we feel a tightness, a pain, a disappointment, and a sadness for the loss of what can never be. There is nothing we can do but watch. Anything you say or do, goes in one ear/eye and out the other. Nothing matters but their own free will to fuck up their lives as they please. And while they do it, they expect us all to sit and watch... like a train wreck.

On another rather disappointing note, my chair was NOT WD40'd, and is back to its squeaking ways. Dad attributed it to the weather change. I was kind of enjoying that false sense of silence.