Alive... Sorta

You will notice, interesting stuff happening to my little site in the next couple days (provided you are an avid reader of my little corner) as Pat strives to bring our little world to perfection. The guestbook is back, my archives, and a few links to some friends and some other interesting people.

And now on to my morning, D has been up early because work is calling him. He must man the phones and therefore, I get to hear him man the phones. I drift in and out of sleep during this time so when I finally wake up, I am as I am right now. Groggy. Of course, this does not mean my mind is not active, it just means I am not yet speaking. Lisa, one of two best friends, wakes up in the most cheerful mood. She is lively and active, and could probably dive into doing a sink full of dishes and washing a floor by hand. Kat wakes up groggy as well, but she dives right into a cigarette (come to think of it, so does Lisa) which is something I literally can not stand (we will get back to that a little later). And then there is me. I sit there, or lay there, depending highly on my level of energy that morning. I do not speak for the first 30 min or so, unless spoken to. On a rare occasion, when I wake up to sunlight streaming in on my face and fresh cold air - I am up and aiming for the sky. This hasn't happened since I got into the dark room.

Let’s take a moment to share one of my biggest indoor pet peeves now shall we?
I am a smoker. Let it be known to those who stumble upon my site. Smoking does not bother me under any condition - EXCEPT one.
One little condition and my two best friends have just learned not to do it. Do not smoke in my room while I am still sleeping or if I have just woken up. There is nothing so rank as the smell of smoke while you are trying to sleep. I think that might be what it smells like to non-smokers all the time. And if that is the case, I will not do that to a non-smoker again. And let’s just say that by non-smoker I mean those who have never smoked. I hate people who are like fucking converts to a religion. They quit smoking and feel so fucking righteous that they can come and attack me. People like that suck. They are hypocrites. But, if you have never smoked (and by smoked I mean on a regular basis) I am so sorry. This all came from someone smoking in my room too early in the morning.

Well now, I must be going. Guess I had a lot on my little mind.... guestbook’s up, comments are up and of course, you could always email me (you can use my reg addy if you know it, and if not, its mp3_diva@hotmail.com).

Too-da-Loo!

A Week Of Relaxation

It is soo nice to feel relaxed. I do not feel stretched, or sad. Just relaxed. D and I went downtown yesterday (Seattle) and walked around a little. I went to my favorite building for the first time, and it was oh so much fun. I should actually post the picture. When D is done fuddling with it, I will do just that - of course, I will ask Pat how to do that first because I am html illiterate, hence the lovely template.

So pay attention, soon enough the guestbook will be back, as will the comments (please feel free to comment) and yeah. I'm out. It's bed time. I'll be home on the weekend sometime...

Did I just say "shout out?"

Omg. Its happened, I have become MTV's most typical personality. I wonder if there is an online support group to help me with this... I sure hope so because I just said shout out. Next thing you know I'm going to be running around saying "hella-this and hella-that" and then we will really be in trouble. Maybe I will through a few 'oh my gaaawds!" and "Like, as if!" and then I can really fit in. Think Mandy Moore will be my new best friend? We can sit and talk about how cool those short's J-Lo was wearing in her new video are, and how maybe we should go get our highlights done at the same time as our nails so that we aren't in the salon as long!

Ugh. I make myself sick. I just took that to the extreme of extreme. Even that sounds like something off of MTV.

Well, Well, Well!

Special shout out to my friends out there who have made their way to my little blog. The archives should be up so if you want to read back into the past, feel free to do so. Because you are new to my little insanity corner, this is me, what I think when I am alone, (or not) and am usually just fuckin' around on the net. Or if someone pisses me off (Jamie) you will find it all here.

I am going to Seattle tomorrow (and am looking forward to it too :)) to spend a week or so with D. My little spring vacation is going to take off so I may or may not get the chance to fill you in on all the happenings of my world.

Its bedtime here. I will try and get around to linking you guys up tomorrow once I get settled in Sea-Town (omg, did I just type that?)

Okay so it is difficult.. but its fun to try.. pfft.

Did I mention there are games galore on here? I am so very very fascinated right now. And D isn't available so I figured I would babble on to you guys... Oh, and btw.. I don't know who you are JPS... but thanks for the email. I replied.. hope you got it.

For those of you who didn't catch my email (that would be because Pat hasn't had the time to fix my Guestbook and my Email link... its:

mp3_diva@hotmail.com.

BTW, I noticed we hit 100 this weekend. I'm impressed, considering I blocked many IP's that were repeat. That means new people are reading my thoughts. I will start posting more links, and babble-ing. Gotta keep it intersting.

It's Funny - Because That Used to Be Difficult

Woah! 2 posts in 1 day. Abnormal you say? Bah!

Well, after listening to people always tell me it was easier than I thought, I finally downloaded Agent today (its a newsreader) and started to mess around. You can get everything from newsgroups. Porn, Mp3's, Warez... Games.... and get this, NEWS! No shit. I mean, its easy once you figure it out (it took me about 35 minutes to learn how to download and use the files that I was downloading) and many mp3's are made up of about 20 files but! it is effective I say. You can get alot of goodies if you just open your eyes. I recommend grabbing agent.. check out whats online. And a warning to the faint of heart (or eyes) there is alot of porn newsgroups. Do not be surprised... and not all of them are full... not that I've checked or anything... what? I haven't? Okay.. so I checked out one or two.. and they are mostly spam. That was boring and I moved on quickly... but... for Kat.. there is a playgirl one, where they are posting pics of the boys... ohhhh yeahhhh.

My Find of the Day

Sometimes I find myself looking at stupid things online. This one wasn't stupid, rather it was quite interesting. You know how they always say that meaning is lost in the translation? Well, this proves the point quite well I think.

THIS link will lead you to a page that translates what you say into a bunch of different languages, french, german, portugeuse, etc. And then back to English. You can see how things work out in the end, and then try again. I did several things, song titles, phrases I have seen on t-shirts.. etc. And it never, ever, stays the same or ends up close to what you originally wrote.

While I Was Sleeping

I was woken up this morning at 8:20. This is around 2.5 hours on the early side for me lately. I have been getting up anywhere from 10-1pm. Noctornal values have pros and cons... the pro's being Deep Space Nine at 2:30am, the cons being the reason for my post today.

This morning, once I was finished doing what my Dad had asked me to do, I took Izzy outside for her morning pee. It was apparent she was pissed off at me because we were obviously up early and she was up all night humping her kitty. She is also accustomed to sleeping late with me, and rather than stay up with me now, she is upstairs in my bed (for those of you who know Izzy are you as not surprised as I am?). Back to the point.

I forgot how beautiful it was in the morning. The smell of the air as everything wakes up with morning dew. And it just so happened that this is a beautiful spring day/morning. The sky is clear blue, the air is fresh, the flowers are blooming. I forgot how much I loved this time of year. I even enjoyed walking to school in the morning when I was in high school. I can still remember walking through the morning frost, with the sun shinning down on it... feeling the most amazing sense of happiness. I miss that all while I am sleeping until 10am.

And now, I am stuck doing work for my dad, but before I do that... I am going to grab my tennis racket and some balls and hit balls against the garage. I don't hit it hard enough to dent.

I have missed my favorite season, While I was sleeping. Don't do this to yourself. Get morning classes. Get outside.

Hope, Faith and a Little Time

Hope: If I place my hopes in the Vancouver Canucks, they are going to lose. Every time I do, they fail. So this time, I'm workin' on some reverse psychology.

Faith: I have faith that this summer will be a summer of success. Both in my educational life, as well as my personal life.

A Little Time: Time will tell. Kat may be moving back, she may not. Classes may be understandable (or not.. stats is going to suck I think). And time.. I hope I have some to enjoy the weather and D.


This past weekend I spent time with Kat, who I haven't seen since January. The best night was a tie between the night my 2 girls and D sat down with me to play cards, and Saturday night, when D and I had some time alone. I have to say, I am very accustomed to having time with him, just him and I, that when it is taken from me, even with a positive event like Kat coming into town, I miss the closeness that D and I can have when we are alone. The good news is, I will most likely be able to do this this weekend, and spend the week with him... I hope.

So thats my life. Not funny... or amusing. But good.

My wife is in town. Yes, I have a wife. And for those of you who know, and understand the story, she is doing just fine.

For those of you who don't know what the FUCK I'm talking about.... I will explain to you another time. It goes back.. waaay back.. back in time.

So when she leaves and life resumes it's normal flow.. I will return.


Now please, stop emailing me, asking stupid questions.

Miss Me?

So it has been some time since I have last posted, and I am sorry for that (to the two that emailed me asking if I was still alive)

I have finished finals now, and have begun my spring break. D and Kat have been in town and I have been busy. I will try to post some substance soon.

Final Exam's - Insomnia 101

So, its final time for me. I finished one today and I have one tomorrow. And, when it is final time, it is insomnia time. And it has nothing to do with coffee and cramming. I just can't sleep. Things rush through my head the night before. Nothing to do with school, everything to do with life. I have come to the conclusion that this has something to do with my fear of failure and was reflected in my dream the other night.

Tomorrow I will be tested in my knowledge of Microsoft Office (in this case, PowerPoint, Word and Excel). I know PowerPoint, I know Word... but Excel sucks. I wish Microsoft would get their shit together and learn to make their Office Assistant more of an assistant. I mean, I go to ask what something is and he gives me a half-assed explaination that takes 35 minutes to put together in my head. Hmm so if the syntax is this, then this variable goes here a....

Fuck it. If I am doomed, I am doomed. But please, for the love of God, may I have a night of sleep before a final?

What Do Dreams Mean?

I had some very scary dreams last night. They were not scary like "there is a monster under my bed, in my closet, or chasing me" they were scary because they were real life. Dreams of how my whole perception of where I am going is wrong, or gets destroyed by a decision I make (usually under the influence of alcohol I might add, which is really weird).

And what does that all mean? Does it server as a protector to scare me into not doing these things or to bring awareness that I have the fault to allow this to happen? Or, is it someone more psychic, saying that to some degree, this will happen in my life?

I have had dreams come true (and no, I am not singing the S Club 7 song) and when they do I usually don't realize it until after the event, yet I will clearly remember the dream. But I don't want these dreams to come true. They are scary. I fuck up everything I have going for me... D, School, Work... everything.

When I was a teenager, I failed over and over and over again, and I was proud of that. I was soo angry at everything around me that I was proud to be a fuck-up. And now, failure is NOT an option. I absolutely must succeed. And I must succeed with those I love beside me. Maturity brings so many things to your life including responsibility. It would be nice to have a place to shed that shell for a while wouldn’t it?

Stop Stretching Me

Ugh. I can't be all things to all people, and yet those people who rely on me are pulling me into 5 thousand peices again. I'm feeling stretched.

Take Two Kava-Kava's and Call Me In The Afternoon

Check the time, and date stamp. I am going to sleep now. Lisa and I had issues with mp3s and what we wanted... caffiene played a roll too I'm sure. What was the outcome? WinMX and Heather Nova. Enough said.

HOLY SHIT WHO KNEW

You can find me on GOOGLE!!! I am soo fuckin psyched. Okay so here goes.. I just found this out... I had NO fuckin idea. I feel soooo cool!!!

Naked
Britney Spears Naked
Sex
Penis
Voyeurism
Free Porn
Free Sex Pics
Ummmmm....
WonderWoman (the one that got someone here)
Kwantlen University College


yeah. so now that I got you here.. read my fuckin blog.

If You Want To Have Your Say - Have It!

I hate people. I hate people who take no initiative and then have the NERVE to bitch about it after the fact. Its like the guy who keeps saying "I almost" - it gets old and you really want to ask them "Well the fuck didn't you then"

My grandmother once told me of a friend of hers who used to come over to her house (she raised 8 kids) and he would sit one of the kids on his lap and say "I saw a really cool toy I knew you would like, and I almost bought it for you" and of course the kid would get excited and then be crushed. And after many times, it started to really annoy my grandmother. And he wouldn't limit himself to the kids, he would do it all the time "I almost bought this truck" "I almost picked up lunch for you" I almost.. I almost.. I almost.

This relates back to my initial statement. I have a person of whom I work closely with. I think I referred to them as Jamie before - anyway, I realize what really annoys me about this person.

All semester, I have been doing all the work for this team. As mentioned before, it was based on the fact that some of my group members were working in extra-curicular environments and therefore could not put in the level of participation that was needed. So I ended up taking on all 4 reports. While I had some input at times, it seemed to me that Jamie was never happy. They never said thank you, good work... whatever. So when the time came down to do the work for our final project, I let it sit. I had decided I was not going to play nanny. A couple days before I went to Seattle, I emailed everyone wondering what their plan was. Apparently, they had none. While one of the team members is excused from this situation (and has been all semester due to other reasons, not to be named here) the other one, is the one who has the lack of manners, and apparently has "I have my head up my ass Syndrome" (commonly found in men - no offense, just an observation). So it once again, came down to me saying "OKAY IM GOING TO DO THIS!" I mentioned that continuous input was necessary to ensure that all voices were heard.

The report, and powerpoint was done.

I got no feedback.

And guess what?

Jamie had the nerve to bitch and complain to me, make me feel like shit for his lack of initiative. I let him have it. He had plenty of time to give his opinion and it is not up to me to babysit him. If he wanted to get heard, he should have said it before. When there was time. It's nice to pass the buck isn't it.

So now that the whole ordeal is over - I will never have to work with Jamie again. While I will be in the same classes as them, I will never have to deal with this ordeal. I will not put myself in this position. I will opt out of group, and do the hella work on my own.

Thanks for the ear.

And by the way - I do have the most fabulous boyfriend in the world. I think that needs to be said somewhere other than in my head and to him and my friends. To all you out there.. good luck finding one as good as mine. I don't think you can.

I AM HOME!

Jamie (see my um... yeah my um... what are they called? oh archives) and I are done for the next few weeks. Lets party. I really have nothing to say although I am sure tonight I will.. Stay Tuned...

Vacationing with Mommy and Daddy

This weeekend, instead of taking the bus to Seattle, my parents came with me. It was sorta a "meet the parents" reversal. D and my parents obviously know eachother but my parents had never been here to see him. I have to say it was a great experience. The road trip and the time spent was fun. HIghlight was my mom getting to see Pike Place Market (those of you who know my mom know that this would be her paradise) and dinner at a fabulous restaurant (italian.. very very italian - and no Lisa, I didn't speak to the waiter in Italian... lol)

Anyway, I will be in Seattle for a couple more days, so Kat, I will speak to you Wednesday, Lisa, keep Thursday open, and Alana, please send me the strat plan.

Amen, Im out.

The All New Tara's Corner... I Think

Okay.. so I need some input. What do you want from me?

email me at mp3_diva@hotmail.com and give me your feedback.

The Power of Gardening

Today I gardened with my mom. The thing is, I have never liked gardening. Bugs, dirt under your nails, planting, maintenance, pulling out weeds... but today it was fun. Today I put bark mulch all over the garden and it was my job to be a little geometrical. Today my mom and I sat in the sun, doing her hobby, and it was just nice to be with her. She has been home all week, and on a bit of a rampage, cleaning and moving and doing all the things that she misses out on when she is at work. And what it all comes down to is that she enjoys this. And that makes me happy.

So, here I am, tired, sunburnt a little, and ready to sit back and enjoy a beer that I earned.

I hope all you out there are doing well. I send my well wishes specifically to Patrick who is going through a rough time right now. He is a very good friend of mine who is sometimes a little hard on himself. Anyway, you know who you are, and I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

And to another certain someone who reads my brilliant thoughts here, I just want to say Happy Anniversary. And no, I am not addressing that to D.
(Even though this weekend marks 1yr 9mths)

Okay people.. I am out. Its time to chill... email me sometime would-ya? mp3_diva@hotmail.com (unless you know my other one)

Blah-Di-Blah-Blah-Blah

Blah. That would be a perfect description to how I feel today. So, I will not bore myself, or you with my thoughts. I will only say that The Station (station.sony.com) has bingo. How fuckin addicting. Lame, but addicting.

Marketing and Me

For those of you who know me well you know that marketing is my game. I love marketing. I love all aspects.

And yet I hate commercials.

I channel surf worse than any man. I can not stand sitting through the 2 minutes of commercials, and get annoyed ones they repeat on every freaking commercial break.

I love the thought of making them. I love the process of making them.

Can one love a process and not an outcome?

They can. The side of marketing I choose to go into is not the 'commercial' side, rather the business side. I am only soo creative - I am business minded.

My thoughts for the day.

"Live Long and Prosper" - My slogan for my small business building company. You like?

Mr. Rogers is Stuck in My Head

It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, it's a beautiful day my neighbour - would you be mine? would you be mine?

That is repeating over and over in my head. I can not let it go. It is a beautiful day in the neighbourhood and that is precisely why D and I have decided to take Izzy for a walk. (For those of you who do not know Izzy, she is my dog)

The sun is shinning, the sky is blue - and I am feeling wonderful for a change. Easter was pleasant and everyone seemed to have a good time. I was in pain due to a friend of mine, Aunt Flow, but she decided to quit throwing the tantrum earlier today (for those of you who are confused, I am quite sure it is only because you are male, and do not have a close personal relationship with Aunt Flow, although I am quite sure you know of her - put 2 and 2 together... see if you get 4) and I am now ready for my walk with the doggy. The sandals are coming out, and the toes will be painted.

The level of stress in a student's life is quite unreasonable, and it will only continue, and while I should be stressing my final exams, I am only stressing one, but I have 15 days to get my shit together. Alana and Scott and I will cram and cram coming closer to the final. I am not really concerned. My projects are done, my brain has been freed and the sun is shining my friends - which leads me to my final point.

Get the hell outside!